tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-140433502024-03-13T11:25:10.494-05:00As I live and breatheThis is life, my version at least.Balbonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01894270650773258400noreply@blogger.comBlogger190125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14043350.post-14170089250545147762013-01-21T22:21:00.000-05:002013-01-21T22:21:07.917-05:00Time goes by quickly when you are doing nothing. I guess doing nothing is not correct. I have been procrastinating have projects that need completion, reports to write, but my motivation is low to non-existent when it comes to getting out of bed and staying awake. Forget about being productive. I have been hibernating to stay away from germs, which didn't prevent me from getting pneumonia with multiple organisms. Then my tooth broke! I had it pulled! I am confident about my smile yet I feel like between the cavities I have recently discovered and the work I need completed that I am going to look like a jack-o-lantern. No one told me that my medication and diabetes would contribute to poor dentition. I feel incredibly cheated. All of my illnesses have been invisible and I think that allowed me some normalcy in living my life. Perhaps some of the barriers were experienced to a lesser degree. There is a double edge sword to this concept though because I was often asked to prove that I required handicapped parking and other acccessibility issues.Balbonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01894270650773258400noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14043350.post-21167783755908651112012-10-14T23:36:00.001-05:002012-10-14T23:36:26.072-05:00Processing the effects of fear...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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During the short time lapse in my blog, I have been blessed to have new faces added to my world: the faces of children in my life. No, they are not mine, but close. I am blessed to be the Aunt to 7! So I must say that there has been a lot to love with these little pieces of me, though not always the blood kind of relatives, I have so much to share about what children have taught me so far... Stay tuned...<br />
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Balbonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01894270650773258400noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14043350.post-91734375876708269242012-10-14T23:16:00.001-05:002012-10-14T23:16:51.624-05:00DreamsI mentioned my total lack of sleep last night and here it is the withching hour again and despite minimal napping to restore what is deficient from earlier this week, I am here yet again<br />
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I love trivia, even moreso when sleep deprived so check out these "facts" below. Note that the site 25facts.com does not "cite the source," so I can not verify other than to say that the statememts are thought provoking and interesting. <br />
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<a href="http://www.25facts.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/my-dream.jpg"><img alt="Facts About Dreams" class="size-full wp-image-271" height="333" src="http://www.25facts.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/my-dream.jpg" title="my-dream" width="500" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text">
25 Weird Facts About Dreams</div>
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<li><span>Snoring and dreaming cannot occur at the same time, You can experience only one out these two.</span></li>
<li><span>The average person dreams about 4 times during night, which makes it around 1,460 dreams per year.</span></li>
<li><span>Most of us are unaware of the fact that we become temporarily paralyzed in a dreaming state.</span></li>
<li><span>The longest dreams occurs in the morning which is approximately 30-45 minutes long. An average person dreams every 90 minutes</span></li>
<li><span>“Oneirology” is the scientific study of dreams.</span></li>
<li><span>Every human being dreams except for those who are suffering from serious mental disorders. You cannot say that you don’t dream, You just forgets almost 90% of the dreams within 10 minutes of awakening</span></li>
<li><span>People who are born blind cannot see any images in their dreams, they only have a dream of sense of sound, smell, touch and emotion. But those who are not born blind can see dreams like a normal human being.</span></li>
<li><span>Have you noticed that we see only familiar faces in our dreams. You will not see a single person in the dream who is unfamiliar.</span></li>
<li><span>Men and women dream differently. about 70% characters in men dreams will be men, but this not the case with women dreams as their dreams contains almost same number of men and women.</span></li>
<li><span>While dreaming you cannot only have sex with your partner but you can also experience a strong orgasm like you have in your real life. </span></li>
<a href="http://www.25facts.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/in-my-dreams.jpg"><img alt="In My Dreams" class="size-full wp-image-273" height="400" src="http://www.25facts.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/in-my-dreams.jpg" title="in-my-dreams" width="500" /></a><br />
<li><span>You can Control your dreams by controlling your body’s vital energy, by doing Buddhist exercise of yoga.</span></li>
<li><span>Your dream indicates different things like sadness or unresolved grief if you find yourself in a cemetary.</span></li>
<li><span>If you see chocolates in your dreams, it may symbolize that the dreamer feels the need to be rewarded and deserves special treatment.</span></li>
<li><span>You can experience more vivid dreams if you are given Vitamin B complex (B6) and St. John’s Wort.</span></li>
<li><span>Dreams existed since ancient times, one of them is Flying dream. These dreams existed even before the invention of the Aeroplanes.</span></li>
<li><span>Psychologists strongly believed that daydreaming and dreams during sleep may be related to each other with different cognitive processes.</span></li>
<li><span>The archangel Gabriel is considered the archangel of childbirth, emotions, and dreams.</span></li>
<li><span>Our dreams carry deep meanings that only the subconscious mind can understand. Dreams speak in indirect language.</span></li>
<li><span>It is very difficult to remember our complete dream. When we wake up we fail to remember even a single sequence of the dream we had during the night.</span></li>
<li><span>Not all people dream in colour, some people only dream in black and white. almost 70% of people dream in colors and the rest may not be able to dream in colors.</span></li>
<li><span>Chronic smokers who suddenly quit report more vivid dreams than they had when they smoked</span></li>
<li><span>Scientific studies have revealed that animals and especially mammals dream like human beings.</span></li>
<li><span>According to some weird studies, it is revealed that an adult have less nightmares that children do.</span></li>
<li><span>Some poets and many great scientists have discovered different things during their sleep, they wrote about their dream as soon as they woke up. Some of them are Newton, Graham Bell who were inspired by their dreams.</span></li>
<li><span>Feet in dreams can symbolize everything from sex to humiliation. They can also represent mobility, freedom, or a foundation.</span></li>
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<span>Again, no academic citations, but for entertainment purposes!</span>Balbonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01894270650773258400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14043350.post-39903093825551886622012-10-14T04:38:00.000-05:002012-10-14T04:38:08.452-05:00To sleep perchance to dreamI am out of luck when it comes to sleep tonight I guess. It's 5:30am and despite cutting out caffeine, lying peacefully while relaxing, some medication, and a slew of other techniques I recommend often, professionally, but have less frequently found success personally. WHY? Isn't it the most frustrating. I did not take a nap, which can be a culprit to distort circadian rhythms. I did a righteous amount of exercise and activity today, even some yoga breathing- nothing. I will take any suggestions you might offer. Send them my way!Balbonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01894270650773258400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14043350.post-74466303638761965142012-10-12T22:11:00.005-05:002012-10-12T22:11:56.148-05:00CF and achievement<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: purple;"><strong>What is about individuals with Cystic Fibrosis and levels of high achievement? I resumed my blogging tonight (since John has been asleep for about two and half hours,) and discovered a veritable bevy of blogs of cf-ers like me. So many are pursuing leadership degrees and work. Go US! Kick that CF upside its genetically mutated head. It definitely proves that despite a pair of shitty lungs, diabetes and a skanky pancreas, there is nothing wrong with our brains! Bravo and Keep Breathing!</strong></span>Balbonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01894270650773258400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14043350.post-87179682411106704132012-10-12T21:10:00.000-05:002012-10-12T21:10:06.921-05:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That's right...I AM still here! The good news is so is this blog. I thought that perhaps it would disappear into the great cyber abyss yet, here she is. Even though it has been a while (nearly two years, who's counting?), my blog was here waiting for me to post when I was ready. I must admit that it has been long overdue. At this point in my life, I have overcome some major hurdles. Namely, celebrating the anniversaries of 10 plus years of my double lung transplant and 5 plus for my kidney. Though I have had some serious setbacks, I am alive and even the best Vegas odd makers would have called me in a while ago. I failed to publish my "story" (in traditional form), after a lot of reflection and "processing," as we call it in the field of counseling because of my fear that once my story was out, so would my reason for being. I feared that death would be inevitable once my story was told. What I have learned is that death is inevitable for every one anyway and as for my "story," well, it's been told online and nothing "happened." </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Not only is writing therapeutic, but it gets better with practice. I'm a bit rusty. So let's get started. I hope that you will pick up where you left off in following my life and that it teaches and inspires. I have decided that pehaps that is why I have been around this long- 35 years damn it and proud. Welcome back, Dear Reader and for me, Welcome Home!</span></div>
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This is still me!</div>
Balbonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01894270650773258400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14043350.post-47889450589028519592010-06-17T00:26:00.003-05:002010-06-17T00:27:16.018-05:00I can't believe that I made it to 33! So many reasons to celebrate life today. I am truly thankful.Balbonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01894270650773258400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14043350.post-42144573654854824362010-05-20T00:23:00.003-05:002010-05-20T00:30:15.086-05:00<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/S_TH9Ts6uDI/AAAAAAAAAIU/rhTAzS54tj8/s1600/hookersfriends.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 191px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5473219303236614194" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/S_TH9Ts6uDI/AAAAAAAAAIU/rhTAzS54tj8/s400/hookersfriends.jpg" /></a><br /><div><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/S_THxFe316I/AAAAAAAAAIM/jkKypKEj4zc/s1600/sunglasses.bmp"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 187px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5473219093261178786" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/S_THxFe316I/AAAAAAAAAIM/jkKypKEj4zc/s400/sunglasses.bmp" /></a><br /><br /><div><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/S_THgZSMWBI/AAAAAAAAAIE/i9rQkqSdMqM/s1600/gatorjerkycrop.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 150px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5473218806518929426" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/S_THgZSMWBI/AAAAAAAAAIE/i9rQkqSdMqM/s200/gatorjerkycrop.jpg" /></a><br /><span style="color:#cc6600;">Despite a bunch of health woes that plagued 2009, I was able to go to Florida for a vacation in April 2010. I stayed with Kelli Belfabulous and we attended Carrie's wedding. Yes, Carrie, my old roommate tied the knot to David Longest. I am happy that she found love. I am vain though and not pleased at the effects the prednisone has on my face and body. I am a moonfaced puffball and I am sure those who had not seen me saw the same. I am blessed to have friends that could give a shit less, puffy or not, and still enjoyed the Boni time. I laughed a lot more than I had in a while. It was needed. I think that with the winter and my health it was deserved and needed.</span><br /><br /><div></div></div></div>Balbonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01894270650773258400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14043350.post-48775417605626020932010-05-20T00:18:00.002-05:002010-05-20T00:22:35.408-05:00<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/S_TGThUCIaI/AAAAAAAAAH8/zKF85baU3Pw/s1600/cheers.JPG"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 184px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 200px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5473217485824205218" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/S_TGThUCIaI/AAAAAAAAAH8/zKF85baU3Pw/s200/cheers.JPG" /></a><span style="color:#00cccc;"><br /></span><div><span style="color:#00cccc;">Times have changed immensely since the last time I undertook posting. In the world of facebook and instant updates via text, even blog technology seems obsolete. Yes, blogging in part was a selfish practice to keep people involved in the minutae of my life, but it was also a way for me to process what exactly was going on in my life. It seems that at this point, blogging might help with my insomnia and current state of affairs in life. So alas, I will attempt to blog with some regularity again starting now 5/20/10 and see what comes of it.</span></div>Balbonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01894270650773258400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14043350.post-77533357223016779972009-09-10T22:16:00.002-05:002009-09-10T22:22:15.106-05:00<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/SqnBNSwT8FI/AAAAAAAAAG8/MlUQ6Gv6Eno/s1600-h/Debbie+Galletti+018.JPG"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 62px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 200px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5380043663987699794" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/SqnBNSwT8FI/AAAAAAAAAG8/MlUQ6Gv6Eno/s200/Debbie+Galletti+018.JPG" /></a><br />Is it really possible that I have not blogged at all in 2009?<br /><br />Finishing my research and then writing my thesis clearly took priority over blogging and rightfully so. 2009 was not easy. I lost my best friend Detroit Joe due to an immune reaction. He passed away in June just before my birthday. June was spent dealing with illness and mourning. Through Detroit will never be replaced, I welcomed a new fuzzy friend Scampi in my life. I forgot what puppy parenting was like! Finally, I became Dr. Balboni in August and I'm at a loss as to what to do with my life next. I guess I'll enjoy this for the time being!Balbonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01894270650773258400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14043350.post-30519717837511133902008-11-12T22:45:00.002-05:002008-11-12T22:51:31.232-05:00<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/SRukKbC0m5I/AAAAAAAAAE8/4tTLT_vo9Bw/s1600-h/jill.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 176px; height: 200px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/SRukKbC0m5I/AAAAAAAAAE8/4tTLT_vo9Bw/s200/jill.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5267984688105167762" /></a><br /><br /><br />I have been so busy with school yet, I am not overwhelmed. A little fearful that I won't have enough people return completed surveys, but not overwhelmed. As I have named my blog, so have I named my thesis. Below, I have copied the passage that connects to how I imagine organ donation transpires. It is dramatic and beautiful, a romanticized version of death. IF YOU ARE A TRANSPLANT CANDIDATE, RECIPIENT, LIVING DONOR, LIVING DONOR CANDIDATE (CURRENT OR PREVIOUSLY EVALUATED) OR YOU ARE A FAMILY MEMBER, PLEASE CONTACT ME TO PARTICIPATE IN MY STUDY. MY RESEARCH CONCLUDES ON 12/31/08!<br /><br />Five Weeks in a Balloon by Jules Verne- Chapter 23<br />A magnificent night overspread the earth, and the missionary lay quietly asleep in utter exhaustion.<br />"He'll not get over it!" sighed Joe. "Poor young fellow--scarcely thirty years of age!"<br />"He'll die in our arms. His breathing, which was so feeble before, is growing weaker still, and I can do nothing to save him," said the doctor, despairingly.<br />"The infamous scoundrels!" exclaimed Joe, grinding his teeth, in one of those fits of rage that came over him at long intervals; "and to think that, in spite of all, this good man could find words only to pity them, to excuse, to pardon them!"<br />"Heaven has given him a lovely night, Joe--his last on earth, perhaps! He will suffer but little more after this, and his dying will be only a peaceful falling asleep."<br />The dying man uttered some broken words, and the doctor at once went to him. His breathing became difficult, and he asked for air. The curtains were drawn entirely back, and he inhaled with rapture the light breezes of that clear, beautiful night. The stars sent him their trembling rays, and the moon wrapped him in the white winding-sheet of its effulgence.<br />"My friends," said he, in an enfeebled voice, "I am going. May God requite you, and bring you to your safe harbor! May he pay for me the debt of gratitude that I owe to you!"<br />"You must still hope," replied Kennedy. "This is but a passing fit of weakness. You will not die. How could any one die on this beautiful summer night?"<br />"Death is at hand," replied the missionary, "I know it! Let me look it in the face! Death, the commencement of things eternal, is but the end of earthly cares. Place me upon my knees, my brethren, I beseech you!"<br />Kennedy lifted him up, and it was distressing to see his weakened limbs bend under him.<br />"My God! my God!" exclaimed the dying apostle, "have pity on me!"<br />His countenance shone. Far above that earth on which he had known no joys; in the midst of that night which sent to him its softest radiance; on the way to that heaven toward which he uplifted his spirit, as though in a miraculous assumption, he seemed already to live and breathe in the new existence.Balbonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01894270650773258400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14043350.post-11142501272300022202008-10-28T21:51:00.002-05:002008-10-28T21:54:40.657-05:00<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/SQfP7C4AmDI/AAAAAAAAAEc/7Q7PpW38MOw/s1600-h/ucf.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/SQfP7C4AmDI/AAAAAAAAAEc/7Q7PpW38MOw/s400/ucf.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5262403302896736306" /></a><br />I have not blogged in so long. I am alright for those of you that have meailed to check in. School and work full time along with the management of my health is quite a wonder to behold. I am thankful for the joy I have in my life, my friends and family, always. Special people that enter your life, pick up the baggage you've accumulated on your journey and continue on with you as a travel partner.Balbonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01894270650773258400noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14043350.post-91192171552812183272008-04-09T20:58:00.002-05:002008-04-09T21:06:38.855-05:00<a href="http://bp1.blogger.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/R_10wyEvT1I/AAAAAAAAAEM/tv1lh0WreBY/s1600-h/uncle+bob.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/R_10wyEvT1I/AAAAAAAAAEM/tv1lh0WreBY/s400/uncle+bob.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5187430727224872786" /></a><br /><a href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/R_10xSEvT2I/AAAAAAAAAEU/5mrpFX23uZk/s1600-h/DonateLifeLogo.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/R_10xSEvT2I/AAAAAAAAAEU/5mrpFX23uZk/s400/DonateLifeLogo.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5187430735814807394" /></a><br /><br /><strong>DO YOU REMEMBER WHERE YOU WERE 9 YEARS AGO?</strong><br /><br />It was April 10, 1999 and a day that I will not ever forget. It was the day that I received the gift of life from my Great Uncle Bob (pictured above) who was then 67 years old. In the sadness and loss my family experienced that day, his death was transformed into life, a new life for me. I can't even fathom that it has been nearly a decade since it feels like just yesterday, but at the same time, it feels like a lifetime ago. Ironically, it was a different lifetime. Certainly without that double lung transplant, I would be long gone. Instead, I cherish every day as a blessing and opportunity to make the world a little bit better just by living in it. <br />I hope that as you read this, you think of your own existance and perhaps tell someone about organ donation with my story in mind.Balbonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01894270650773258400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14043350.post-77917770832915029652008-03-22T11:59:00.002-05:002008-03-22T12:21:22.415-05:00OUT OF THE LOOP...Is that how you feel as a result of my complete and utter lack of blogging? Well, it's my life and I feel out of the loop too. In fact, the only loops that have been in my life are the circles I am running around myself. I have been caught up with thought and my mind almost never shuts off. I haven't even been avle to take a satisfying nap, which for me is a favorite pasttime! The first quarter of 2008 I find myself disengaged from the things that matter, like school. I haven't been as on top of things like I usually am even though I still find it enjoying, challenging and rewarding. I have been working regularly at self- storage, but with no one to talk to, I usually go a little nutty after 18 hours of quiet. Lately, customers have been rude and frankly, I'd rather tell them to go f@#$ themselves! "Uncle Bob's offers a 10x10 for a $107 a month. You have it for $110. What are you going to do for me?" I wanted to tell him to go back to Uncle BOb's and stick that extra 3 bucks up his ass, but alas, since the Balboni clan has their names on all the businesses in true Trump fashion, I bit my tongue and told him that the $110 was the best we could offer. I don't set the prices. I wasn't even smug (until the door shut). In a recent survey, one question asked if I like my job, to which I replied- yes...when it likes me. I find that I like the job when I see money come in for my collection attempts. Although these days, with the economy in the shitter, I find it sad that so many are having a hard time making ends meet. I really am the collections bitch. <br /><br />My health has been on the up swing for several months now until St. Patrick's Day, when I caught the flu full force. I was hedging bets that I actually might make it without an illness all winter. Figures that three days before spring I come down with something. Besides the aches, pains, temperature and general malaise that comes with being sick, I have grown impatient with the interruption. I have been fighting it aggressively to the point where I am here both days at mini storage this weekend, even though I thought better of it. "Bed, stay in bed!" my inner voice says. Then I squelch it. I have too many things going on to stay and hibernate in the cave (sans windows- getting old). <br /><br />I have been hired again by Vinfen! I have accepted a 20 hour position as a rehab specialist for twice the change I am making at the family business. I figured that it was a good starting point before jumping off into a 40 hour 9-5 with commuting. The hours are flexible,it's local, and it actually uses my degree! I have three months before the next fiscal year when they decide whether or not to fund it fully so its a trial for me. It doesn't have benefits but I still have trial work time so I can put in the 3 months and see what happens. Best of all, I can still do the family business thing without disrupting my responsibilities. When I discussed it with Priscilla, the Balboni family therapist, she thought it was a good idea and that my family would be supportive. Of course, I am sure that someone will be pissed off. <br /><br />Truth is, I need more money. School is expensive and though I have applied for scholarships, it will still be a while before I see just how much of the cost is defrayed. Addtionally, there is a school trip to Brussels in the fall. (The only Brussels I can afford are sprouts!) It would be a great opportunity to go and get a certificate in international law and policy, especially exposure to a different type of organ procurement system.<br /><br />Well, that's all for now. Mom brought lunch!Balbonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01894270650773258400noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14043350.post-70966172647515477852008-01-31T16:49:00.000-05:002008-01-31T16:55:22.673-05:00<a href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/R6JDvxwXHeI/AAAAAAAAADU/xe1YbxGXYek/s1600-h/dba+001.GIF"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/R6JDvxwXHeI/AAAAAAAAADU/xe1YbxGXYek/s400/dba+001.GIF" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5161762611009101282" /></a><br /><a href="http://bp1.blogger.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/R6JCvhwXHdI/AAAAAAAAADM/YHfbngdZP1U/s1600-h/IMG_0483_edited.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/R6JCvhwXHdI/AAAAAAAAADM/YHfbngdZP1U/s400/IMG_0483_edited.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5161761507202506194" /></a><br /><br />I have been a bad blogger (as many of you have pointed out)! In fact, I have just recently downloaded my Christmas pictures from my camera. Recent pictures to follow. For now, I wanted to alert my friends and family that I will be soliciting them by mail on behalf of D/B/A or Dare to Be Alive, a local non-profit benefiting transplant recipients. If you can afford to give, please do. Here's a preview of what's to come. No guilt required, but if you do have some and it helps you open your check book, more power to you!<br /><br /><br /><br /> Serving individuals with organ transplants!<br /> Winter 2008<br /><br />Dear Friends and Family,<br /><br />As you know, since I received my first transplant in April of 1999 I have been dedicated to advancing the cause of organ donation awareness and education. Through my volunteer efforts, I met Deanna Arnold, a liver recipient and founder of Dare to Be Alive Foundation Inc., a 501 (c)(3) non-profit organization. D/B/A has been serving individuals with organ transplants by providing financial, mentoring and social supports on the Cape and Islands since 2004. This year D/B/A is serving all of Massachusetts. I affiliated quickly with the group and now serve on the Board of Directors.<br /> <br />There are currently 98,000 people waiting to receive an organ transplant and 17 will die each day waiting to receive the gift of life. Thankfully, I am not one of them. Though I knew that not everyone was as fortunate as I to have such a wide network of family and friends to lend a hand, my work with D/B/A has put a face to those who struggle to handle this new blessing and financial burden. The average cost of maintaining a healthy organ after transplantation is $5,000.00 per month and not all individuals have the funds or proper health insurance to cover the cost of this new life long expense.<br /><br />Therefore I am turning to my network to ask that you consider D/B/A when you make your charitable donations this year. Heck, there’s no time like the present! All donations are tax deductible and directly benefit programs and services for transplant recipients like me. I know that many of you work for giving corporations that may be willing to offer matching donations or contributions. Will you ask?<br /><br />Dare to Be Alive Foundation Inc. will be hosting its 4th Annual Track & Field Event Fundraiser on Saturday May 17, 2008 at the Barnstable High School in Hyannis, Massachusetts. The Track & Field Event is open to individuals of all ages who want to participate in a non-competitive track and field event or to improve on their abilities for the up coming season. This year’s event will include a Martial Arts demonstration from Mid Cape Tae Kwon Do, raffle prizes including a chance to win a 2008 Corvette, and pledge prizes. Mark your calendar and spread the word! While I don’t think I’ll be running, I will definitely be volunteering and cheerleading- about as athletic as this girl gets!<br /><br />Please feel free to visit the website listed below and here more about the organization! There you’ll also see the highlights of Deanna, who, with her new liver, runs marathons!<br /><br />Warm Regards,<br /><br />Jill Marie Balboni<br />Double Lung Transplant Recipient (1999)<br />Kidney Recipient (2005)<br /><br /><br />230 North Main Street South Yarmouth, MA 02664 (508) 398-1260<br />www.daretobealive.orgBalbonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01894270650773258400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14043350.post-3477267708061288922007-12-08T09:12:00.000-05:002007-12-08T09:38:19.916-05:00TODAY is the second anniversary of my kidney transplant. I thought about calling Mandy and Ted in San Diego but it is just too early to call the West coast. While I am happy that this day commemorates a day of renewal and purpose for me, I can't but help but think of Hillary and Avery Stern who lost their husband and father. There are always two sides to fortune. Since I have received this gift of life, I have made it my purpose to spread the word about the life saving benefits of organ donation and the meaning of the gift of life. I can only hope that I am not wasting the opportunity that I have been given. There are so many existential questions that come up with life or death matters and making meaning out of them. It t<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">hink</span> one of my greatest challenges has been to grapple with the question to which there is no answer- would Bob and Brett be content with the way I have I lived given their sacrifices to me? Am I honoring their lives? No one wants to feel like they have lived a wasted existence, especially the second and third times around.Balbonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01894270650773258400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14043350.post-77637229615626313612007-12-05T22:02:00.000-05:002007-12-05T22:16:37.301-05:00"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Hmmmmmm</span>....I wonder where we are going?" A blindfolded Scott asks.<a href="http://bp1.blogger.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/R1do-ewjDTI/AAAAAAAAAB0/WOj0G2Tz83E/s1600-h/IMG_0473.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5140692922284576050" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/R1do-ewjDTI/AAAAAAAAAB0/WOj0G2Tz83E/s400/IMG_0473.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div><br /><div>All the girls joined in the fun! Mandy, Jill, Kate (now the new bride), Cynthia, and, (standing) Courtney, who was just about in labor at the party and gave birth to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Chatham</span> Grace just last week!<a href="http://bp1.blogger.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/R1doBewjDSI/AAAAAAAAABs/WTDyVSfKsLg/s1600-h/thegirls.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5140691874312555810" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/R1doBewjDSI/AAAAAAAAABs/WTDyVSfKsLg/s400/thegirls.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/R1dm8-wjDQI/AAAAAAAAABc/aYMtORiaGoo/s1600-h/IMG_0475.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5140690697491516674" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/R1dm8-wjDQI/AAAAAAAAABc/aYMtORiaGoo/s400/IMG_0475.jpg" border="0" /></a> The Beauties of Camelot Park: Alison, J, and Jill - watch out for that Level 3 Sex Offender. Although I am 30 everyone tells me I still look 14! DANGEROUS!<br /><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div>I could have killed her! Mandy gives me the sob story about how she won't be making it out for this Thanksgiving holiday. I truly believed every word!<a href="http://bp0.blogger.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/R1dm9OwjDRI/AAAAAAAAABk/4Pg0SOj33Bo/s1600-h/mandyandjill.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5140690701786483986" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://bp0.blogger.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/R1dm9OwjDRI/AAAAAAAAABk/4Pg0SOj33Bo/s400/mandyandjill.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />If anyone else has pictures of the party, please share them with me. I would greatly appreciate it!<br /><br /><div></div></div></div>Balbonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01894270650773258400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14043350.post-5513543768215835972007-12-01T13:35:00.001-05:002007-12-01T13:50:43.735-05:00Happy Holidays! I can't believe that it is already the first of December! Thanksgiving was wonderful split between my dad's house for the first round of turkey and my mom's for the second. The family got some joyful news when my eldest brother Scott and his wife Audrey announced that they were expecting in June. It will be exciting to have a baby around. Since I have Jude, I put in an order for a niece. Though we all know that gender doesn't really matter as long as the baby is healthy. <br /><br />The big scoop for the weekend was this "Family Surprise." While I thought that perhaps it was my 30th birthday celebration, I spoke with Mandy who told me in no uncertain terms that she was not able to come home for the holiday. I knew that my mother wouldn't arrange for a party without her knowledge. Secondly, when Scott came home, he began asking questions about the surprise and my mother pointed out that I was being selfish: "not everything is about YOU, Jill." This was true so I began focusing on other options. I have to say that Scott, Audrey, Kristen, and Todd were great accomplices to the rouse. Todd took us blindfolded on a seemingly wild goose chase and we arrived back at the Seton Hoghlands Clubhouse for a surprise party! I've never had a surprise party and I was quite impressed that my friends and family were able to keep the secret from me for so long! Pictures will follow later. So many of the important people in my life were there, including Mandy and Ted, and Courtney fully 9 months pregnant and her husband GW. Old friends like Cyn and Kate were there with even older friends like Alison. My dad's side of the family was there too, which really made it special. My mom also had a psychic there to do readings and everyone was intrigued by the responses they got. My 30th birthday was actually in June but because I was sick, we put off celebrating. 30 for me was a real milestone. No one ever would have imagined that I would live to 30, but through blessings, prayers, a positive attitude and a lust for living, I shattered those odds! I am so thankful for all the people that have touched my life and have gotten me through the many tough times.<br />more later...Balbonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01894270650773258400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14043350.post-12738350844202932832007-11-14T19:46:00.001-05:002007-11-14T20:06:16.905-05:00Some how, I'm not sure exactly how it happened, but all of my email contacts have been erased. So if you haven't heard from me, this is why. To remedy this situation, please email from the address you'd prefer me to maintain contact with you so that I can recreate my contacts as soon as possible. Without it, I feel that my Christmas card correspondence could be irreparably damaged.<br /><br />I am trying the dating scene once again and really, really hate it. It sucks to meet new people and test the waters with the transplant thing. So far, I have found that by talking about the kidney first, it opens up a good dialogue. Kidneys aren't as scary as other transplants since they're done with such frequency and the surgical aspect isn't quite as daunting. Depending on the response there, I try to slip in the lungs- a much different animal than a run-of-the-mill kidney. Still even with some gentle hints it's a whole different story when it comes down to dealing with the consequences of post-transplant life. Recently, a book was published by Amy <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Silverstein</span> entitled <em>Sick Girl, </em>and while you might think this is a hopeful, inspirational memoir about a heart transplant recipient and nearly twenty years of post-transplant bliss, you couldn't be more wrong. In fact, the book is the exact opposite. The author mentions the thought of killing herself several times and hates that her transplant has made her sick all these years. I was disgusted upon hearing about the book, that I went out and bought it. While I understand her perspective and similarly, her guilt for not being "thankful", her perspective is still valid. Not everyone that has experienced a transplant shares the same story. In the author's case, her transplant was a necessity by emergency. She didn't have twenty years of progressive debilitation riddled with long hospitalizations. There is a different type of "learning" that one experiences through chronic experience over an acute bout. Essentially, the author had a transplant without a lot of forethought of what life would be like after, without knowledge of how the transplant would consist trade-offs: a economic balance of transaction costs and benefits. If Amy <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Silverstein</span> had not been in a life or death emergency and had gone through the rigorous work up that most patients have to go through, like a psychological fitness screening, it would be likely that she wouldn't be a candidate at all. SO, wait until it comes out on paperback, or buy is used on Amazon because all and all, it sounds more like a rant of a child than of a woman with 20 plus years to be thankful.<br /><br />More of my own ranting later....Balbonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01894270650773258400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14043350.post-48018819983752732562007-10-25T21:14:00.000-05:002007-10-25T21:23:57.877-05:00<a href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/RyFN6Oub3iI/AAAAAAAAABM/rWKcqA5KULU/s1600-h/lydjill.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5125463513704947234" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/RyFN6Oub3iI/AAAAAAAAABM/rWKcqA5KULU/s400/lydjill.jpg" border="0" /></a> This is a picture of Lydia Halunen and me at Mandy's introduction party for Ellie.<br /><br />Today was uneventful. I finally met up with the GI people and instead of doing a full colonoscopy and prep, they are going to do the biospies through a sigmoidoscopy,which doesn't go as far up your colon. It is dangerous to do a larger scope because of the level of inflammation. I have homework to do, but I am a bit uncomfortable for concentration. I have been worrying about what I am going to do about the work I have missed and how I am going to adjust my budget. I can't imagine what it is like for people that have no insurance and have a health care issue. My friend Kelli Belfatto is also having an abdominal crisis, but is going to the doctor. I'm glad she isn't one of those people that you have to argue with to get ther to got to the doctor's. She was sipping her colontini, an awesome new word to add to our Wiki, refering to the colonoscopy prep! Wonderful linguistic contribution Fatto! So I might not likely post tomorrow depending on how miserable I am and how much of my colon they snip out. I have an hour and half left to eat so I think I'll walk down for some Animal crackers to out of the vending machine to coat the stomach for the awful oral medicine they are shooting at me. So nothing exciting to report today!<br />GO SOX!<br />more later....Balbonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01894270650773258400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14043350.post-86900949271760435892007-10-23T18:11:00.000-05:002007-10-23T21:02:06.719-05:00<a href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/Rx6nWk9RTXI/AAAAAAAAABE/OTddgql7rI0/s1600-h/mandyjillelliebw.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5124717432313826674" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/Rx6nWk9RTXI/AAAAAAAAABE/OTddgql7rI0/s400/mandyjillelliebw.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="http://bp0.blogger.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/Rx6m-09RTWI/AAAAAAAAAA8/wR6L02i6-FQ/s1600-h/ellieandjillybw.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5124717024291933538" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://bp0.blogger.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/Rx6m-09RTWI/AAAAAAAAAA8/wR6L02i6-FQ/s400/ellieandjillybw.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div>My bag is packed, and tomorrow, at a still undisclosed time, they will admit me to the Brigham and Women's Hospital, where they'll delve into my colon and snip pieces off in effort to find the disease process that has ravaged me since August. I have severe colitis, which is part of the reason I have been writing less frequently. I am hoping that despite the brave faces I have been putting forth the past few months I wil be able to smile for real without the aid of pain meds. I am also hoping that I will be able to work more regularly because my bottom line really sucks right now. I know that if it wasn't for school right now, I would certainly be in a bad place right now. School has given me something to look forward to. It's given me assignments and short term projects to take my mind off the day to day shit, literally. When I talk about my thesis ideas I can feel my heartbeat quicken and the excitement grow, like a new love. Truly, there can be no fear of commitment when you take on a dissertation topic. You have to jump in with both feet and let the passion you have for the topic drive you. The quest for knowledge drives you deeper and further into places you've never been in yourself. It's a lot like falling in love. let's hope my love life consists of more than paper and ink for the next two years! Otherwise, it could make for some nasty papercuts! Just kidding- you know I have to push the limits of decency... I have also been able to make some very good friends in a short time. I feel very lucky to have such a diverse group of people enter my life and our paths are intersecting now for no other reason on the surface than this program, but beneath, we have to be part of a bigger, more important picture it seems. </div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div>I was so blessed this month to meet Mandy's baby- Elena Rushforth Fates or EllieRoo,as she is adorably called. There is something about holding a new life that makes one aware of the fragility of life and the need to celebrate its beauty and newness. All of a sudden, my friend is now wholly responsible for protecting and guiding this new life to a safe place (but is that place ever a final destination). All my friends that are now mothers have truly embraced this new life position with such beauty and grace that I can only hope that I could obtain a similar position with my life choices.<br /><br /></div><div><a href="http://bp1.blogger.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/Rx6DeE9RTVI/AAAAAAAAAA0/fmndSTHj7p4/s1600-h/jillanddetroit.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5124677978744245586" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_DklEuxaLTzg/Rx6DeE9RTVI/AAAAAAAAAA0/fmndSTHj7p4/s400/jillanddetroit.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><div></div></div></div>Balbonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01894270650773258400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14043350.post-70614969168778345962007-09-10T19:38:00.000-05:002007-09-10T20:36:06.760-05:00Things have been rather busy since I last wrote. I am a bad blogger. I have started the Law and Policy Doctoral degree and I love the new challenge! Changing the way you see the world, then making a change to have a positive effect on the world. My dissertation is going to focus on strategies to increase organ procurement. Donation and altruism are great, but people are not giving. Right now, no other options are offered or are being considered. I plan to change that. I am pleased that I received financial aid, but contributions are always welcome! Just kidding...<br /><br />The people are great! I have made some great friends and connections. The intensity of the program is like none I've experienced, but it is like a retreat,a transformation all of us our experiencing together.<br /><br />I have also been pleased to be working for the family business. I am the official collections bitch, and it is good to be in a position where I can see progress, or the money coming in. I know that my grandfather would be proud. I am also spending more time with my deaf aunt, getting out of the house, taking care of the cat for her, and then going to movies twice a month. I know my grandmother would be happy about that. So all being said, I am coming into my own being recognized as an adult, managing responsibilities personally and professionally. Although I cna't operate a machine or do any heavy lifting, my position in the family business is just as important.<br />Off to read...Balbonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01894270650773258400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14043350.post-42373245182606587262007-08-16T10:54:00.000-05:002007-08-16T11:09:55.060-05:00It's been quite a while since I have blogged and I am in a much better mental space than I was in my last post. My mother encouraged me to update immediately since my readers might think that I am really on the brink of bad things. However, those who know me well recognize that my states of occasional sadness are fleeting and each day brings a new opportunity.<br /><br />Good news number 1: I got financial aid! Even with the poor remnants of my credit report, I was eligible and was able to cover this year's tuition. I breathed a huge sigh of relief realizing that if you let go of control of things that you have very little control of and let yourself come to peace positively about the issue it will work out. Since the program is new, I will have the opportunity to apply for scholarships and grants for next year instead of relying solely on loans.<br /><br />Good news #2: I finally have a place in the family business. Although I am not getting paid in the traditional sense, it means a lot that I am being included and that I have responsibilities of my own. I am the Collections girl! Given my experience with creditors and my people skills (finesse) I have been pretty successful to date. I have been complimented by both my father and aunt, which is really, in all honesty, the payday I have been looking for all my life.<br /><br />Good news #3: I have been put in touch with a young girl that is being evaluated for a double lung transplant due to pulmonary hypertension. She is being evaluated in Pittsburgh this week to see if she is a viable candidate. I sat with her and her mother for 3 hours last Friday and answered every question I could think of. I told stories and remembered back to the day 8 years ago when I was given a second chance at life. I was honest and told her the good and bad things. She was really cute, as she asked me if she highlight her hair. I pointed to my own and pointed out my roots- "of course you can honey!" We laughed. I really feel like, though I have been drawn to helping others all of my life, I feel best when I can see that I made a difference. I hope to mentor her through the trials and waiting, which is really the hardest part.<br /><br />Good news #4: I have decided my dissertation topic. I am going to look at the law and policy around the economics of transplantation and organ procurement. I want to see if there would be a change if financial changes were made to the overall process, not buying organs, but giving incentives to cadaveric donor families, such as reimbursement towards funeral expenses or an estate tax credit. It raises a lot of eye brows and questions whether a market mechanism in this field is ethical- hmmm.... there's also a lot of research out there for me to sift through, but there is no consensus.<br /><br />My body has been very tired with all the work I am putting in to school, work and thinking. This time though, the thoughts are positive!<br /><br />More sooner than later!<br />-jillBalbonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01894270650773258400noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14043350.post-66912985726358611652007-07-23T16:23:00.000-05:002007-07-23T16:33:50.776-05:00I haven't been blogging much these days. I guess that I have a lot on my mind that has kept me away from sitting at the computer and letting loose. Perhaps, it was the article I read on blogging that wrote that it was a "performance" for the readers rather than a true, genuine place to write about life and share with friends and voyeurs. That really put me off.<br /><br />But I don't own that definition or purpose for blogging. It gets me in the habit of writing and thinking critically about myself and my relationships. God knows, I need to do more of both. I have spent most of July in my house. This summer marks the least tan I have ever been. With the inability to sleep comfortably at night, I am religated to find the peace of sleep during the day. No one quite understands that my sleep cycle is flip flopped right now. I am hoping that with some continued practice I will get on a cycle like the rest of humanity and I can crawl out of the bat cave, my windowless bedroom, to see the light of day. I've fallen into depressive and anxious thoughts, as I am still without a pancreas and still without financial security for my Doctoral program. I think that I am a planner by nature, even though most times the plans require some form of modification. I like to look at what the future has in store and I like to look forward to it. It gets me through the doldrums of here and now.<br /><br />In other news, Kevin and I are on a "break". I'm not sure that this will turn into a break-up. But there's a reason they call it a break and not a fracture. There's the question of what will be healed if anything. I am embarking on a lot of new things, so maybe the timing is right. I guess I'd rather be sad because I have no one to call me than to be sad because the someone I have doesn't call. I'm trying to keep everything in perspective.<br />Will be better at blogging ....until then.Balbonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01894270650773258400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14043350.post-57459743360996340782007-07-10T22:54:00.000-05:002007-07-10T22:55:59.997-05:00<div align="left"><br />It's been a while....<br />It's been a while since I have written anything or really have even checked my account. I have so much going on, though really it is very trivial. I have been doing a lot of reading for the Doctorate of Law and Policy program at Northeastern. I have been crunching numbers and variables to see what options I have as far as affording it, finding a home for the dog one weekend a month and a home for me while I am at school. It seems all insurmountable and yet I am giving it up to God to make it happen if it is meant to be. I don't think that my family understands my rationale for wanting a doctorate, but few have experienced higher education in the circles my family associates with. I tried to explain my purpose to my dad, who was looking at the bottom line. Never mind my goal of making a lasting permanent change within the American Health Reform Movement, especially targeting organ donation. It seems that my speaking engagements are moot, since they are volunteer and although my skill set is advanced, I don't think anyone truly understands what I am capable of. I gave my dad a copy of my admission's statement but I didn't get any comments.<br />I also have been experiencing huge amounts of anxiety and frustration as my wait for the pancreas continues. My MassHealth (medicaid) was cancelled this month and I spent one whole day this week working on getting it reinstated. The good news is that I have it back, the bad news is that my premium has tripled- ah the vicious circle of worry. Especially now that I have less income and even less when I can't work.<br /> I thought it was going to be simple, but now that I have other things to think about and my health has deteriorated so that diabetes and digestion are constantly invading my thoughts, it is a hassle and easier just to stay home in the Bat Cave asleep than to deal with the outside world. I used to shop for comfort, but being on the verge of bankruptcy and the embarrassment that comes with it, I'd rather just hide. Now, The inner counselor tells me that such behavior is unhealthy so I have decided to make like a surgeon and sharpen my scalpel with a trip to the therapist to regain my perspective and my subjective take on my objective reality. Blah, blah, blah. </div>Balbonihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01894270650773258400noreply@blogger.com0