AFTER WRITING 3 papers in the past two days, honestly, the last thing I wanted to do was blog. However, I got a Valentine from Rebecca H. who said she missed my blog so I figured I's write a short entry. I am doing OK- I have been malabsorbing no matter what I eat, which has been more frustrating than dangerous to my health. I now take 8 enzymes when I eat, no matter what the fat content is. I am supposed to be counting carbs so they can come up with a carb to insulin ratio, but it seems that all I eat is carbs and I fear I will be chastized by the endocrinolgy folks.

On a good note, I got a nice email from a woman named Sally Kennedy. She sends out weekly emails that are reflective and often have Bible quotes for the week. One that was listed really struck me.
As you can imagine I think a lot, in times of darkness and times of dawn about why I have experienced all that I have. Not like a "poor me" type of reflection, just a base wondering and questioning.
He is the quote: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, " plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11.
Ahhh...finally, something that makes sense. In times that feel like I was put here to suffer endlessly I know and have faith that this is not the case. I have a sign in my room that says Hope and there is nothing I have wanted more than a future in the face of adversity. Maybe now I can allow myself to dream again, not just of a functioning pancreas but of graduating, and going back to school again and again- sicne this is my joy. I can dream that there is someone out there for me. I can be less cynical and more positive, which is my true nature. I can smile more. I will eat less salami now that I know I have plenty of time to enjoy it. It is time to celebrate each day again and relax- most of relax and take things one day at a time.