Today's Rating: 7.5
Today was an okay day. Not a day that I would be able to walk 5 miles, but not a day when I felt banished to the couch, or even more importantly, to the bathroom. (If you are going to read my blog, be prepared for some poo poo talk.) I slept through dialysis so the time wennt quickly. I'm not sure if that is a blessing or not since I likely will not sleep tonight. I felt well enough after dialysis to do laundry and though I could have cooked a nice dinner, I opted for Ernie's Pizza. For those far away friends, Ernie's is a North Plymouth family-owned itlaian restaurant, been around for years. They make yummy thin crust pizza, a "must try" when visiting Plymouth.
One of my new habits, besides this blogging thing, is going on match.com, the 21st century dating trend. I figure its a new way to try to find friends and maybe more. I went on one date last Sunday and it was a good start to stick my swollen toes slowly back into the dating pool. It's a good way to screen guys so that I don't have to find out if he jives with my medical history. After consulting with Jamie (every girl needs a good gay guy friend- much love Pookles) and Carrie, I figured that when the ineviatble health history comes up, I would start with the diabetes and work backwards, kidneys, lungs, etc. It's not that I am holding back- it's just a lot to share with a stranger. I guess at this stage in my life I am a bit vulnerable and afraid of rejection...still realing from the fact that I was left for a "healthy girl." That being said- that will probably be one of the few times I mention the nastiness. I am well into processing my past with the help of the wonderful Russ Frye, PsyD. Even though I am a counselor by trade, as are most of my friends, it is good to have someone removed from the situation to check in with. Like one of my favorite quotes from grad school- a counselor needs counseling as a surgeon needs his scalpel to be sharp. or something to that effect.
Today the Old Colony Memorial ran a correction. You see, my baby brother Douglas is one of the state's best high school baseball players. The local paper ran a story featuring him and how he's going to be playing in Fenway park. I am so happy for him and extremely proud- this is certainly his, and my father's, dream come true. However, when listing his family...I was omitted- intentionally? inadvertently? Either way, I am not too big to admit, my feelings were hurt. A correction was written to include me. Granted I have not been close with Dougie because I moved away and he grew up in the meantime. He's a good kid and I don't think he would set out to slight me- I just think that maybe it is what it is: he doesn't count me as part of his family. Well, as hurt as I am, I am also angry that my dad said nothing and let that go to print. I'm not dead yet- give me a chance. My grandmother never would have stood for this. I miss her so much. I am just really thankful that I have my grandfather and my aunt to keep me part of that side of the family. I know it may seem be little things, like not being invited to my brother's fiance's bridal shower, but its just another kick while I'm down. I don't want the world to revolve around me, maybe that's how it seemed in the past. I just have come to appreciate family so much, despite all the quirks.
OK- I feel better...how therapeutic, this blogging thing. Now I will add a nice tune from rhapsody.com for you to enjoy.