Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Today was a 6. I had to make up dialysis from yesterday because my colon would not permit me to sit through treatment. I made it , getting up only once. They switched me from Phlagyl to oral vacomycin, which makes my ears ring and my hearing worse, but oh well, it makes me feel a little bit better. I am just now getting back on track with my email and personal business. I was scheduled to take my real estate exam, but there was no way I could just sit through it that long- not quite that recovered. I have been captivated by the Hurricane coverage and I am praying for all of those suffering. I can't imagine not having a toilet right now. Although last year in Florida was quite the challenge. I cringe to think of the death and diasease that will follow the aftermath of this tragedy. Martha gets her ankle bracelet off today- cheers to the strong women of the world, whether you like her or not.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

I have been blogging less due to the total feeling of exasperation I am feeling due to the c. diff colitis that I have again. It is keeping em in misery and I cried today just to get out the frustration. People have been checking in which is nice I wish I was just up to being more social. In good news Shippy and Courtney are both pregnant, both due in March. Babies, babies every where. I will have to check in with the Balboni's to see how Tiggy is faring as she nears the coming of Jude. I will write some more when I am out of the bathroom. I have to keep studying for my real estate exam, which God willing, is supposed to be Wednesday- I am not going to take it though if I've got the trots.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Is it Wednesday already- actually as I look at my clock it is 12:50 am, so it is technically Thursday and in 5 hours I will be at dialysis. I saw the doctor today- the stomach doc, and a colonoscopy is in order, but not until this latest bout is cleared up. I am sick of being sick so I have booked myself a vacation- Homecoming in Orlando in November for 10 days. The ticket was cheap and as for accommodations, with all my friends, I'm sure everything will work itself out, including my dialysis schedule. I feel like I need something to look forward to, to reconnect with my friends and feel the spirit of Homecoming even if I am reliving my glory days. I will be sending an email to all my SOuth FLorida friends and my Otown folks too, as my plan is to fly into Ft. Lauderdale stay with Kelbel and then drive to Orlando where I will crash and then fly out. Yippee. Let's pray there aren't any hurricanes during that time. I can't wait for a reunion! Now I should try to sleep, I'm trying to get a sleep schedule going and I definitely blew it tonight.
Please pray for my friend Jenn Cross' dad Dick, his cancer is setting him back pretty bad and things aren't looking good. The worst part is that he is suffering. No one deserves that.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

This week has been miserable. I have spent most of the weekend in the ladies room- not powdering my nose either. My mother was so concerned she shipped me off to the Brigham to get checked out. I thought I had a simple sinus infection, but I started coughing and then the stomach thing got worse. They decided a course of IV antibiotics at dialysis would cover me. Of course, the day after you start any antibiotics you usually feel like shit because the arsenal is in full effect killing off the nasties- kind of like natsis. But on Saturday, after getting up from dialysis 4 times to go the bathroom , coming home to more of the same and being pretty much dehydrated my mother insisted I go to her house. I ate some crab and half a burger which lasted all of 20 minutes. I promised myself I would study for the real estate exam and catch up on all my email and letters but most of what I did was try to keep my sanity. I cleaned up the layer of dirt that sticks to my feet as a sashay to the bathroom. No I can swiffer witout incidence. I felt bad that my mom was so worried. Darryl was more concerned about knowing if my debt was getting resolved and when my divorce would be final. Anne is handling that so that is what I told him. Let him call her.
I have been trying to get to bed earlier with help, of course from my klonopin but nonetheless I am not suffering from anxiety as much.
I went to Pete's surprise 30th birthday party that my friend Alison, his girlfriend, through for him. Due to the stomach I made a short appearance, but a worthehile one I think. ALison put in a tremendous effort to pull off the surprise and to prepare for him. Connor was one his best behavior and I am always impressed, although he is needs ADHD meds, how well-behaved and lovable he is. She did a great job as a single mom. Carrie spent the weekend with her aunt and got season opener tickets for the patriots. I am supposed to have class that night but we'll have to see if I can even afford to go to school. So much up in the air including this great big storm cloud tht has been following me around latelty.
more happy thoughts later aned I promise to all of you that I will be in touch soon.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

I haven't posted much this week. My computer has been at my mom's house, where I was visiting since my stepdad was out of town. I was showing my grandfather a little about the internet. A whole new world to someone in his 70s but I appreciate his wanting to learn something new. I gave him my old laptop, but it is so out of date and broken that it just confused him more.
This weekend was nothing interesting, this week actually. My stomach bug is back, I had a viral load drawn on Friday to see what to do next. I can't take another episode like the ones in March and April. Detroit has a hurt paw that he keep licking- he too, got to go to the doctor's and got medicine 80 bucks later. poor puppa. I'm supposed to go into the city tomorrow am for two appointments but I can barely get out of bed right now so i don't think its going to happen. The good news is that my thoracic surgeon said it would be okay fromt heir standpoint to have my chest reconstructed- now I go see a plastic surgeon in a couple of weeks.
My brother Chris called me this week to thank me for going to his wedding. I am really glad to have taken the risk to try and mend fences with him. He has really grown up- I think he needs me almost as much as I need him.
Carrie and I started cleaning her room last night with my well honed organizing skills, but she ate too much and ran out of steam. I think she was in a lot of pain, but she had a shake today and recognizes that she did it to herself. Still looking for a kidney. But the shitty thing is, even if I had a kidney right now, because I have this infection I would have to wait. Going online tonight to research airline tickets and dialysis units for homecoming- something to look forward to.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Oh I fear the worst is possible- my CMV colon bug seems to have reappeared since last week at Mandy's wedding. The "runs" persisted and my colon was bleeding at my dad's for my brother's rehearsal meal. How embarrassing and painful. I'm going to have some bloodwork and probably a colonoscopy real soon to see what treatment is best. I was just starting to feel better and now a set back.
I've had so many other things to concentrate on, namely weddings and other hapy occasions, that I haven't let it get to me. My diet was kinda out the window so I'm sure I'll be scolded for that, but that will be my goal for my September bloodwork.
Since the blog I wrote about my brother Chris' wedding was deleted some how I will rewrite about that and of course add my commentary.
The wedding ceremony was at my dad's new house on Long Pond Road. The yard looked splendid- I must say Anne must have spent HOURS UPON DAYS preparing it. THe ceremony was on up on a steppe cut into a hill they have, right next to a stream that flows into a fish pond. The family was seated in a semicircle around the pond and the other guests were seated under a tent- it was a hot day. Chris had his brothers- you know I always forget about the Ellis brothers he has, only thinking of Dougie- as groomsmen. They wore these great blue shirts and khakis. Mike Miraglia, who I remember as Mikey from the Beach Club days with Mandy, looked crisp ina buttercup yellow button down. Tiggy's sister Bradley wore a buttercup yellow dress and daisies in her hair. Tiggy looked radiant and not that big considering she is 7 months el prego. Her dress was flowy and had a bit of a train in the back. it was the dress she had already purchased so she just had them put panels in to expand it.
My grandfather was supposed to escort me in the family procession...but he did not go. You see, Chris has been Ellis-Balboni all his life and Chris explaeined to me that he never felt like he was really either, he wanted a new name to for a new identity and a new family, so he took his mother's maiden name of Fraccalossi. Since they have no males for Chris' generation, he will be carrying on that name. I can respect his choice, he seems to have thought it through, what I don't think he did well though was share his rationale to his parents and grandparents in a way that they heard and understood. My grandfather is stubborn and old- fashioned in that family and respect are paramount. I can understand that he feels slighted and really more than anything, heartbroken. I know that my dad is hurting inside too- I saw just a little bit of it on Friday night. Chris was upset when I had to break the news that he wasn't coming and I just tried to redirect him by saying that their were problems before and one day won't fix it all. I told him to focus on his beautiful bride carrying his baby in joinful anticipation of becoming his wife no matter what the name was- I think that helped. Chris and I , and I guess Dougie too, have been estranged since Doug and the move and so much other bullshit, but I wrote Chris a letter and I think it was the beginning of some healing. I'm going to make it a point to try to be as close as possible to them.
At the reception, Mike played "Hey Jude" on the keyboard for the couple in honor of their unborn baby boy they have already named Jude. That was really touching. J was my partner in crime and I knmow that she felt awkward at first since Den and Merle weren't there either, but after a couple cocktails, she was on the dance floor in no time.
Sunday I rested poolside at my mom's and today much of the same, except that I got my b12 shot. I need to clean my house and do laundry, all those things I should have done while lounging by the pool. I've been working on my scrapbook pictures I took from all these events! Tomorrow starts another round of dialysis and the real beginning of my week.

Saturday, August 06, 2005

I started a whole long blog but it got erased. Now I am too tired to finish. Why are there four pictures? Another blogger problem

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

So this week has been hectic and I have neglected my blog. Mandy got married on Saturday and was in town all week, so I was trying to be as useful as possible to help her get ready for her day. The festivities included a luncheon, a beauty day, the rehearsal and dinner, the wedding and a brunch, which I ened up missing. As luck would have it, my stomach was on the fritz, perhaps because I still have some CMV left in my colon. My viral load came back slightly elevated. I'll have to have it repeated. Anyway, I made a quick mental note of the location of therestrooms, and became friendly with the portopotties at the reception. They were the cleanest I have ever come across (until I wass done with them- hehehe).
The wedding was beautiful and easily Plymouth;s social event of the year. Mandy as beaming and Ted's smile lit up the room. Both sets of parents were spilling over with pride. I had a blast with the bridesmaids: Kate and Cyn, of course, Meredith and Davey's wife Stephanie, who I would have never imagined could be so much fun. I was a little disappointed that my feet were swollen. Dialysis that morning didn't fair so well and I had to get off early because of my stomach upset. But I kept my shoes on the longest and didn't let that keep me from dancing up a storm. Darryl and my mom also danced the night away and had plenty to drink. Darryl was the funniest I think I have ever seen him.
I got a great boost of confidence by the compliments I got after I toasted the couple. I had some idea of the general theme but I kind of just spoke from the heart. One of their friends from San Diego remarked that if toasts were like vaults, I was Mary Lou Retton and I nailed it. That was original and good for my ego since I have been a little blue. Considering my health status, I think I looked pretty good, in the pictures I have at least.
Well, the love search continues. Not even really a love search, more like a longing for a companion. Back to match. It seems Steve would prefer to be friends. I think I may have insulted his Camaro or Revere, but a cliche is a cliche and it was good practice.
Next weekend is my brother Chris' wedding and I was invited to the rehearsal surprisingly enough. I'm glad they wanted me to be a part of it. Carrie is in Florida so I am staying at my mom's for company. There was a huge lightening storm last night and I lost my electricity. I didn't like being by myself with no phone or lights. Maybe I am a whimp but since all of my medical emergencies have been at night, I get wicked anxious. My sleep has been better- still not really motivated to do anything. Just waiting for school to begin again and hoping I'll get approved for financial aid so I can go.
More tomorrow...