It's been a while....
It's been a while since I have written anything or really have even checked my account. I have so much going on, though really it is very trivial. I have been doing a lot of reading for the Doctorate of Law and Policy program at Northeastern. I have been crunching numbers and variables to see what options I have as far as affording it, finding a home for the dog one weekend a month and a home for me while I am at school. It seems all insurmountable and yet I am giving it up to God to make it happen if it is meant to be. I don't think that my family understands my rationale for wanting a doctorate, but few have experienced higher education in the circles my family associates with. I tried to explain my purpose to my dad, who was looking at the bottom line. Never mind my goal of making a lasting permanent change within the American Health Reform Movement, especially targeting organ donation. It seems that my speaking engagements are moot, since they are volunteer and although my skill set is advanced, I don't think anyone truly understands what I am capable of. I gave my dad a copy of my admission's statement but I didn't get any comments.
I also have been experiencing huge amounts of anxiety and frustration as my wait for the pancreas continues. My MassHealth (medicaid) was cancelled this month and I spent one whole day this week working on getting it reinstated. The good news is that I have it back, the bad news is that my premium has tripled- ah the vicious circle of worry. Especially now that I have less income and even less when I can't work.
I thought it was going to be simple, but now that I have other things to think about and my health has deteriorated so that diabetes and digestion are constantly invading my thoughts, it is a hassle and easier just to stay home in the Bat Cave asleep than to deal with the outside world. I used to shop for comfort, but being on the verge of bankruptcy and the embarrassment that comes with it, I'd rather just hide. Now, The inner counselor tells me that such behavior is unhealthy so I have decided to make like a surgeon and sharpen my scalpel with a trip to the therapist to regain my perspective and my subjective take on my objective reality. Blah, blah, blah.