Let's see...I had an appointment with Dr. Kidney on Friday. I have been officially warned to CUT THE CARBS! I figured I would be in trouble when I tested my blood sugar just before I had the full panel of labs drawn and it came up with 538(!) as a result. I took some quick insulin, which brought it to 438: the result the doctor received. Then the lab paged her EMERGENCY three times- get the picture? So she told me to reduce the carbs significantly for lent, despite my argument that I am not exactly a practicing Catholic, she protested that it doesn't matter, give the shit up. So Wednesday begins my rice concentrated diet. I disputed that I have to eat something that is easily digestible. You see, with the CF, I have a huge problem with Fat and the heaviness of Protein. Carbs, my friend, work for me. SO if anyone has a CF- Diabetic friendly meal, please do post a comment. I think I would rather have high blood sugar and take more insulin over diarrhea any day of the week, yeah?
Enough of that... School is wrapping up for the semester, and I have a project and a presentation and a final- oh my! I can handle it- I just have to get my priorities straight and my ass is gear. I have also joined the gym so it will be in gear for the Spring. I am hoping to adopt healthy habits in general. I mean, I live a pretty clean life, but there is always room for improvement. I think I owe that to the men in my life: Bobby and Brett. In fact, in a little over a month, I will be celebrating 7 years with Uncle Bob's lungs. April is also Organ and Tissue Donation Awareness Month and I have a grassroots style project in mind - so you will be hearing from me.

I was happy to see my friend Rebecca T. after my appointment on Friday. She's my smart friend, preparing her dissertation- you rock!

By the way- Glamour is having its 4th annual real life story contest- this year I WILL ENTER! The winner gets published and $5000. A little pocket change, eh?

I am at Northeastern waiting for class to begin. It's raining and lousy and I have a lot of work to do. I am trying not to think of it. Some good news though, my mom has been released from the hospital. She had C. Diff. Colitis and was bummin' pretty bad- literally. It was so bad that she almost had a preforrated bowel. I wasn't really supposed to visit her according to my doctors. Then to make matters worse- I started having symptoms after they started me on Bactrim for thsi ever present UTI, which is likely a result of the stent still in place in my bladder from the transplant. We are both on the mend however, so we'll have to see how it goes. This is the last week of class (one more) then I have a week off before the big push- three clasees a week. I have also spoken with my grandfather about doing some work with the family business- a start to get me involved in the work. oK- CLASS IS STARTING.

AFTER WRITING 3 papers in the past two days, honestly, the last thing I wanted to do was blog. However, I got a Valentine from Rebecca H. who said she missed my blog so I figured I's write a short entry. I am doing OK- I have been malabsorbing no matter what I eat, which has been more frustrating than dangerous to my health. I now take 8 enzymes when I eat, no matter what the fat content is. I am supposed to be counting carbs so they can come up with a carb to insulin ratio, but it seems that all I eat is carbs and I fear I will be chastized by the endocrinolgy folks.

On a good note, I got a nice email from a woman named Sally Kennedy. She sends out weekly emails that are reflective and often have Bible quotes for the week. One that was listed really struck me.
As you can imagine I think a lot, in times of darkness and times of dawn about why I have experienced all that I have. Not like a "poor me" type of reflection, just a base wondering and questioning.
He is the quote: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, " plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11.
Ahhh...finally, something that makes sense. In times that feel like I was put here to suffer endlessly I know and have faith that this is not the case. I have a sign in my room that says Hope and there is nothing I have wanted more than a future in the face of adversity. Maybe now I can allow myself to dream again, not just of a functioning pancreas but of graduating, and going back to school again and again- sicne this is my joy. I can dream that there is someone out there for me. I can be less cynical and more positive, which is my true nature. I can smile more. I will eat less salami now that I know I have plenty of time to enjoy it. It is time to celebrate each day again and relax- most of relax and take things one day at a time.

I CAN'T BELIEVE how long its been since I have actually taken the time to sit and blog. I am taking two classes at Northeastern this semester, which is not really a semester- the classes are only 6 weeks long, 4 hours a night, 2 nights a week (as I am taking two classes). The commute to Boston isn't bad and I pretty used to it having to go to the doctor so much with the transplant. By the way, Wednesday marked two months with my new kidney. ANYWAY, class has been intense with chapters of reading, research projects and group work, yet I am learning a lot and I feel contributing a lot as well. I have found the convenient parking best to get to my classes because believe me, it sure is blustery walking around campus in the winter, granted it has been mild.
It si supposed to be a blizzrd this weekend, which may be okay since I have a ton of reading to do before Wednesday.
In other news, I have two friends about to pop out babies Shippy (seen above, check out Riley the WonderDog and his curiosity of his mama's belly) and Courtney. I wish them both the best with their bundles of joy soon to join our world.

I haven't really blogged this week - but I AM OK! I have been busy doing my reading for school and going to school and sleeping from being tired at school. So I will be sure to write more soon. Thanks for all the email expressing your concern,