Monday, August 08, 2005

Oh I fear the worst is possible- my CMV colon bug seems to have reappeared since last week at Mandy's wedding. The "runs" persisted and my colon was bleeding at my dad's for my brother's rehearsal meal. How embarrassing and painful. I'm going to have some bloodwork and probably a colonoscopy real soon to see what treatment is best. I was just starting to feel better and now a set back.
I've had so many other things to concentrate on, namely weddings and other hapy occasions, that I haven't let it get to me. My diet was kinda out the window so I'm sure I'll be scolded for that, but that will be my goal for my September bloodwork.
Since the blog I wrote about my brother Chris' wedding was deleted some how I will rewrite about that and of course add my commentary.
The wedding ceremony was at my dad's new house on Long Pond Road. The yard looked splendid- I must say Anne must have spent HOURS UPON DAYS preparing it. THe ceremony was on up on a steppe cut into a hill they have, right next to a stream that flows into a fish pond. The family was seated in a semicircle around the pond and the other guests were seated under a tent- it was a hot day. Chris had his brothers- you know I always forget about the Ellis brothers he has, only thinking of Dougie- as groomsmen. They wore these great blue shirts and khakis. Mike Miraglia, who I remember as Mikey from the Beach Club days with Mandy, looked crisp ina buttercup yellow button down. Tiggy's sister Bradley wore a buttercup yellow dress and daisies in her hair. Tiggy looked radiant and not that big considering she is 7 months el prego. Her dress was flowy and had a bit of a train in the back. it was the dress she had already purchased so she just had them put panels in to expand it.
My grandfather was supposed to escort me in the family procession...but he did not go. You see, Chris has been Ellis-Balboni all his life and Chris explaeined to me that he never felt like he was really either, he wanted a new name to for a new identity and a new family, so he took his mother's maiden name of Fraccalossi. Since they have no males for Chris' generation, he will be carrying on that name. I can respect his choice, he seems to have thought it through, what I don't think he did well though was share his rationale to his parents and grandparents in a way that they heard and understood. My grandfather is stubborn and old- fashioned in that family and respect are paramount. I can understand that he feels slighted and really more than anything, heartbroken. I know that my dad is hurting inside too- I saw just a little bit of it on Friday night. Chris was upset when I had to break the news that he wasn't coming and I just tried to redirect him by saying that their were problems before and one day won't fix it all. I told him to focus on his beautiful bride carrying his baby in joinful anticipation of becoming his wife no matter what the name was- I think that helped. Chris and I , and I guess Dougie too, have been estranged since Doug and the move and so much other bullshit, but I wrote Chris a letter and I think it was the beginning of some healing. I'm going to make it a point to try to be as close as possible to them.
At the reception, Mike played "Hey Jude" on the keyboard for the couple in honor of their unborn baby boy they have already named Jude. That was really touching. J was my partner in crime and I knmow that she felt awkward at first since Den and Merle weren't there either, but after a couple cocktails, she was on the dance floor in no time.
Sunday I rested poolside at my mom's and today much of the same, except that I got my b12 shot. I need to clean my house and do laundry, all those things I should have done while lounging by the pool. I've been working on my scrapbook pictures I took from all these events! Tomorrow starts another round of dialysis and the real beginning of my week.

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